Friday, February 27, 2009

thanks for friends

Today, i have learned that friends are a treasure to be cherished and i am very grateful. I learned that a very good friend of mine has me on the forefront of her thoughts more than i could imagine and i am deeply humbled by that fact. I am sometimes to quick in assuming what friendship can mean to oneself. I tend to take friends for granted when i have them and long for them if I don't. I guess that is normal. But I was reminded today once again how wonderful it feels to be loved by friends. It made me optimistic, cheerful and plain happy. In other words somebodys action made my day. When I was growing up, I did not have a lot of good friends, I was such an overachiever that I did not had time to waste on friendships. Because of our many moves I lost friends. I had to also learn that friends can be lifelong relationships as well as temporary life enrichers and that both is good. I had to learn that friends can hurt you a lot. In fact, I once closed my heart for quite a while because I was in pain by an action one of my very best friends did. Years later I now realize that she did that so that I would learn what the meaning of forgiveness is. Today I am still her friend and for the first time in my life can say I forgave somebody. It feels good to know that friendships can flourish right away or grow slowly or even stop for a while to then be reinstated. The lesson I acquired is that life will tell me later the reason, and that no matter how hard I try, I will not always be able to understand the others. I will try and learn that I too have to live life at life's terms even if that means pain for a while. It is not about red roses all the time, sometimes it is just about making it to the next day. I used to be very quick in making friends and after that one painful experience shut off. Now I don't have any preset expectations anymore for the development of a relationship. At least I try to. I wait and see. Not always patiently but still I wait.
Thanks to my friends I once learned about me being sick. Thanks to my friends I know I am never alone, no matter if I feel lonely here or not. They are out there living their lives but they don't forget me and neither do I.
Today I am grateful and happy.

No comments:

Post a Comment