Sunday, August 16, 2009

creating the environment i need

boy i just realized that i have not written an entry for more than 2 months.... this tells me that i still dont have the structure and the priority right.... but on the other hand, it has been very important to my own private life to learn not to share ideas with others but just to be with them on my own feeling them on my own without feedback. They feel difficult at times and i know that my path to happiness is full of obstacles at the moment but i do really want to create my own reality and i am taking the necessary steps. We all create the atmosphere we have inside of us and it is frustrating to see that your outer life reflects your inner life so much. And yet, every day is a new day, every minute a different one and every second a new opportunity for being yourself. I can be myself even though i might not like this specific creation at times. Being raised in an environment of shoulds and oughts and must dos it is very scary for me to look at my own imperfections and be with them.... not change them not comment them but just sit with them and i can do it. I can do whatever i want if i have this goal to become whole again.