Thursday, December 29, 2011

Paulo Coelho did it ... again

This morning I am waking up with this sense of fear. I do know why and I don't want to talk about it so I went on Paulo Coelhos webpage and it took all of 3 minutes to find a quote that I absolutely love and would like to share...
"Minds are like parachutes; they only function when they are open."
I like the vision this quote creates it will make it very easy to explain to the kids. Oh yes, they will hear this since I firmly believe that the restrictions in your point of views happen at every age.
Of course, looking at a teenager, one might think that he has an open mind.... but not if it comes to his parents. We are lame. We are controlling. We are so old-fashioned and we have no idea what a teenager needs. Really? Really. I remember growing up my Dad switched off the radio station I had picked immediately labeling it as horrible. I did not like it. And I let my teenager pick the station most of the time. I believe that music is one of the strings that keep families attached to each other. So I am trying to be open minded if it comes to this and some of the music of Julius I love so much that I give him the cd.... only to copy it.
Now whether a younger child has to be reminded of an open mindedness i am not sure. I see the world with the eyes of my youngest and it is all open and fluid. Everything is interesting or at least captivating for a while. Boredom has not yet entered his mind since a lot is new.
What if we look at the world from his point of view? As if everything was new and unknown? Wouldn't that be cool. And scary. For as adults, we have had the one thing that children have not experienced yet. We have stored the negative consequences of actions. My 9yr old is just starting to do it and I wish he wouldn't have to. But if something hurts it is hard to stay open minded and therefore he like all human beings shuts some doors.
I will teach the children though that the mind is acting like a muscle and that if we don't move it it will get rusty.... and that as a consequence of an open parachute you experience the fear of falling but also the joy of landing safely....

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Beauty of Watching Children

Over the holidays I have a myriad of opportunities to watch my children. Since Mrs. Negative is part of my personality I seldom miss an act of misbehavior but this time I am really trying to see the beauty in their actions. I have learned from them that in order to be more balanced you go down in the basement and play a round of hockey with silly little plastic sticks. It is very important to move around a lot and pretend to be a pro. At times you have to wrestle the opponent and pretend to roll in mud so it looks like it is a real fight. It is very important to win thus it is quite all right to be mad at the opponents when losing. I am describing this in such great detail since really there is so much truth in that. In order to be more balanced I need to be physically active. They do to except they don't plan a workout in advance, calculate how many calories to burn and what to eat or drink afterwards, they just play and never think of a workout. Why is that? Who makes them do that? ''I will have the same" is what I say (just like the woman sitting next to Sally in the restaurant in the brilliant old movie When Harry met Sally for those of you that still remember that scene...)
So what do I have to do? Beep - I don't have to do. I am now convinced that my children are guided by something beautiful that makes them cruise along through life in a carefree way. I have to admit it is hard to write this since the sceptic in me does not believe it - but I am certain that the drive to behave like this is the voice of God. Somebody out there is watching them grow. Is instilling them with beautiful and healthy ideas . Now that being said, is it also God that makes them scream at each other 10 min. later and yell that they hate each other? Difficult but I feel that this behavior is another sign that perfect harmony is an illusion. For me such an important lesson to learn from - guess who - God. By arguing with each other they are learning to be able to dislike something in somebody without disliking the person. They learn that love tied to certain behaviors is not real love. Again this is Gods message. I am deeply grateful that my eyes  see so much more behind their actions.
Children are the gift of God and many would kill to have this gift. I tend to take it for granted and become complacent. Today I will watch them with God's eyes and be forever grateful to have them in my life. When I will be insecure I will turn to them because they know without having to know.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Christmas is near...

This morning I woke up and felt like I needed to tell the whole world that a special date is approaching. You can easily see the arrogant part in me ... as if people around the world have not been bombarded by millions of messages containing the word Christmas, as if it was up to me to tell others that a day is special but anyways I am very puzzled by this years Christmas.

First, in my mind, Christmas has to be white, in other words snow has to be on the ground. Well, there is nothing except maybe a football that the kids left outside in the rain, on the ground outside.

Second, in my mind there has to be peace and harmony within the family always. At least you pretend. But because i have raised children that are fully capable of expressing their feelings even if they are angry, frustrated or bored or all of those, we have a lot of loud words in the house as well as a a few extreme outbursts of discontent and a lot of smashing doors.

Third, in my mind, you have to be surrounded by a lot of people that know you and greet you with merry Christmas. And I don't mean the cashier at the local grocery store. Well, we have moved less than one year ago, and quite frankly don't know many people too well.

The list could go on for a bit but I will stop right here. Take a deep breath and let the feeling of sadness in. Yes, I am sad with Christmas approaching. My three bullet points contribute to this and it is more than sad that I really still believe it is up to me to control the outcome. I am also sad because I think of the past Christmas dates and that some of them were so special that I wished they would happen again and they won't. Talk about dwelling in the past... Like the first Christmas with my oldest son, 15 years ago. It was just my husband, my newborn and me and I loved every second of it. I had an own family at last! I had somebody that loved me back ! Life couldn't get better. Like the year, where my middle child got the chicken pox at 9 months age and we had to drive to the hospital which was fifty miles away across the border the day before Christmas. And the doctors told us he would be ok. What a Christmas gift!
Or the first Christmas in the US where there was so much snow that we couldn't open the front door and Erik had to stay home from work. I was not scared I just loved the fact that nature was so powerful it could even make my husband stay home!

Anyways, after these moments of sadness I am ok. I know that I have had many great Christmas days. And I don't know if I have many ahead but i do know that I can make the best effort to have another memorable event in exactly one day. I can rely on God having the situation under control and I can just focus on little things. Like making a nice meal, decorating the table, having music on, lighting all my candles and hugging my family. Letting them know how much I love them and how much they mean to me. Calling my relatives in Germany and assuring them that I have not forgotten them and do miss them - even though I am glad to be here.
It is a wonderful time of the year and I am inspired to have a happy and joyous time. May you all have a wonderful Christmas too!