Thursday, October 15, 2009

true power

i was listening to an american author this morning who mentioned the following quote" if you want to feel empowerede, use your power". I observed my reaction to this. First i thought critically: well, thats one of those typical housewife-in-mind quotes.. then i paused. Because i had caught myself once again in the trap of labeling ... so i pressed the rewind button for my brain (believe me there is one, just hard to find...) and listened to the words again. This time i noticed that i didnt like the quote. Why??? Because it tells you that everybody has some power in himself no matter how powerless he or she might feel. That statement is nice. But not for me. Because at the moment i am working hard on recreating (or creating....) a self esteem that is not based on outside achievements, image or results but on finding my true inner worth and this quotes addresses some of my issues. In my sick world my self esteem has been based on the pillars of pleasing others to get love, ED, and producing results. The pillar of ED replaced such important issues like self acceptance, social confidence.... and i did not notice it at all!!! so being the impulsive me, i said i was going to tear the ED pillar to pieces, with so much anger i intended to make dust out of him. Guess what, i was told and believe it that this doesnt work that way, at the moment, ED has maybe a crack in the pillar but not more... and it will be a long time before some of the pillar can be blown up. And only if I find oother pillars that i will be able to strengthen. One of the most difficult for me will be self acceptance. There i could use some empowerment. And then this quote is telling me that the power lies already within me - Where is it??? I have no idea. And this doesnt feel good. So that is why i dont like the quote But....#
it is a truly inspiring quote since it implies that even though i dont know where the power is (maybe in my toes.....) i will be able to boost my power level once i found it. Or maybe i dont even have to find it and just wait to feel it.
I hope all of you out there are able to identify their power source and are able to use it today.

1 comment:

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