Dalai Lama Quotes

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I understand the meaning of full circle....

havent written my blog for the longest time.... no excuses just the usual stuff. Today i have learned the meaning of becoming full circle.... i have started a class of art history this morning and when i signed up for it i just knew i always wanted to do that and i couldnt say why. history as it is was never ever a favorite subject of mine and i have absolutely no knowledge about art history. So i guess it was intuition that made me want to do it. I learned when signing up that the course was about the "spanish masters". Oops and who would that be??? Yes of course i had an idea but again i wasnt sure. So today when the class started i knew why i had wanted to do this class. The paintings that we will discuss over the coming weeks all are paintings that i saw the very first weekend of my very first time living abroad. In retrospective this stay has been the happiest and healthiest period of my life. I had just graduated from German high school and all i wanted was to leave. To leave and live. Finally, to no longer feel the heavy burden of my familys issues on my shoulders... to just enjoy and learn that living can actually be quite easy and fun. That is why i had come to Madrid, and that was 23 years ago... I went there for 6 months to learn Spanish. On the first weekend there, I remember feeling very confused, not quite knowing what to do with my new freedom. So i went to the famous museum of the PRADO to look at guess what - the famous painting i saw again today on a big screen right in front of me. I know that this has a meaning. It can mean that if I want to get better i have to remember what has made me truly happy in the past. What i was proud of in the past. Not the actions but the feelings, the images, the smells, the food (yes, because guess what even me, at that age i was still a good eater and never wasted any time on counting calories....) and all that i connected with free living. I cannot tell you how happy i felt for a moment today when looking at these paintings, listening to the wonderful explanations and details that of course me, at age 19, i hadnt seen.
It is a good day today and if I close my eyes I can feel the freedom of Madrid, caressing me.
I hope everybody out there has a good day full of wonderful memories too

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