Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Today, I was realizing how much I tend to swallow things I feel. Instead of saying what I think, I just play the happy-go-lucky girl and afterwards I harbour the negative feeling which in my case then tends to translate itself into not fighting against my disease....like a vicious circle it seems that the key for me to transform my bad habits into more healthy ones lies in learning to be an effective and truthful communicator. By not saying what I mean, I not only foster bad feelings I also do something I tell my children to never do - lie. I lie to myself and then my critical voice condemns me for that.... vicious. So, I will use the time tonight to reflect a bit on communication.
Also I saw today, how great the world can be if you see it through the eyes of a child (no wonder, my children love the song with that title by Reamon). While driving back from school one of my children commented on the wonderful sunset and how much they loved the warmth on their faces while playing outside. I agreed and yet I realized that I barely make enough time to feel this simple pleasures. I find all kind of activities instead of just feeling the sun on my nose.... hopefully I will take the time tomorrow and do what my children have done today - enjoying the moment as fully as possible not leaving out the weather...
Spring is a reminder of the eternal change that is surrounding our lives. In Chicago, the season of spring was almost non-existent, we went from winter to summer in one week. In Germany, I found out that the inbetween season, called spring, is so exciting because it opens your eyes for the changes that incur incessantly if we see them. A lot of things that seem to be dead awaken once more. So I will take nature as an example for believing that change lies within me and I will be able to change into a healthier being. Enjoy the pre spring season as fully as you can.

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