Tonight will be the last night where i dont have a permanent address anymore. We are going to move in tomorrow and i cannot help but think that this is a true sign that things are good. After the turmoil called life that I have experienced over the past years, I am finally sailing into still waters. I will fight for all it is worth to keep the waters still since I have had enough waves for a long time and so does my family. I am not blaming anybody for this not even myself. The past is the past and it is gone. I will focus on the next day only. Well, maybe the next 2 days. I know myself and I know that one cannot change overnight, in fact I know that i will change slowly. But I will be patient not anticipating the results. Just learning anew how wonderful life is. How fascinating that i have been guided even though I did not know this. I have arrived here and things are falling into place. Just like I need it. I need structure and I will create structure and accept structure from around. I need love and I will receive love if I let it in. I will give love back because I know that my heart is not bad but hurt and in the process of healing.
I will write myself happy. I dont know how but I feel it is the right thing to do. It delivers inner peace.
It is a hard path at times to walk but then again, everybody has similar paths and not all our paths can be beautiful. Knowing that days can be just days without events happening makes it not a dull but real life. Knowing that I will struggle makes it real. The laughter and the tears to come make it real. I am back in life. Thanks be to God!
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