Thursday, April 1, 2010

holidays are more than vacation

just thinking of the word holidays makes me realize how important vacation time is for me. it is the opportunity for me to reconnect with the special parts of life where my entire family is together. now that being said i know that it is not always easy since our family life is rather dysfunctional nowadays. husband completely absent most of the time and even when he is around he lives in a different world where the computer and the figures have so much power over him that he has no idea anymore how life with 3 kids is. during the holidays he has a strange way of coping with this different life. he first sleeps for 3 days and then he completely immerses himself and is mr super dad. kids love it but the older they get the more they know it is just a show for a predetermined number of days. i have a hard time too since i feel so disconnected from his thoughts and sit next to him wondering who he is... but usually i adjust to this different person too after a while.
still, i wish the word holidays would mean the same to him - holy that is, special and unique. maybe it has this meaning but i dont see him cherishing these days that much and the routine of work is so much more familiar to him that after the vacation it takes exactly 48 hrs and he is back to mr workaholic... sad but true and i have to learn to live with that since i get to enjoy the fruits of his work too.
i now know that i dont care that much for luxury anymore which makes it harder for me to understand why one has to work that much... but i try to see that it is a great life i get to live thanks to the money. how would we live had we less? no idea but i would love to try. not with this man though since taking away work would mean taking away his life.
so i will treasure every minute of my holy days and store them... every day only happens once so i will make the best out of it!

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